Thursday, November 27, 2008

CAN YOU SEE THE REAL ME?

I knew she was mine for the taking but I can’t help thinking that if I was more myself she would still be here.

The most beautiful thing I have ever seen.


Sometimes.

Throughout our relationship, though still me, I felt like I was playing a role, or treading on eggshells. I’ve no idea why save maybe I was too scared to fully be me in case I lost her. I was the real me through every past relationship and they all ended - perhaps I was trying to be someone different to stop it happening again. Another life gamble that backfired. Another self-fulfilling prophecy I have Cassandra’d into being.

I create the troughs to follow the peaks, the downs to follow the ups, the fans for the shit to hit.

I guess anyone as super-emotive as me creates these short-lived, intense situations everywhere around them leaving a trail of devastation in their wake.

The light that burns twice as bright lasts half as long.
And I have burned so very, very brightly.

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