GYPSIES, TRAMPS AND THIEVES

December 24th, 2008
Having no money whatsoever meant I had to learn the meaning of a new word - “frugal” I have been surviving on one carefully planned bag of food a week, mainly consisting of fifty cent packs of super noodles; that’s when I’ve not been eating people’s leftovers in cafés and restaurants. One day in Bondi, when I was staying at Tom’s penthouse apartment (thank you again mate!) I spent about eight hours in a Mexican restaurant eating every customer’s discarded tacos, burritos and chimmichangas. I guess I better get used to that….

Feeling a bit like Bruce Wayne, I even stole an avocado when my newly found friends; the girls in the café weren’t looking. I felt bad but just it looked so appealing. There was no ninja training, no cape nor Kevlar body armour but Ra’s Al Ghul did follow Natalie and I around Bangkok the entire period we were there. I don’t think she ever caught a glimpse of him but I knew he was there, lurking never more than thirty yards behind, waiting for his moment to induct me into the League of Shadows and bring down civilization.

Now there’s a petit-bourgeois crime if ever I’ve heard one, not bringing down civilization, but stealing middle-class, high in monounsaturated fat fruit. Though to get technical it is actually a large berry. A bit like a tomato is a vegetable not a fruit and a strawberry is actually a type of tiny edible dog.