WHEREVER I LAY MY HAT

I stayed with Becs my friend for over a week, first in her old flat in Crow’s Nest (a whole suburb named after my local on Koh Samui) and then in her new flat down the road before she left to go to see her sister working on I’m A Celebrity up on the Gold Coast. How I miss that gig, business class flights, three square meals a day, endless chocolate brownies, beer in groups of twenty of us in the Coolie Hotel every night, on fifteen hundred quid a week and per diems. How life changes.

Becs treated me like a long lost brother and she deserves a medal, she fed and bedded me, (no not like that!) and even lent me some money. She insisted. Wouldn’t take no for an answer. And while I didn’t really want to accept, I kind of had no other option. She is my hero, and saved my skin! I will pay her back and treat her like the princess she is when I get some money.

I went out for a meal with her and her friend Deb and she invited me out for an afternoon on her new boyfriend’s yacht. Five days in Australia and I was part of the yacht set! Always land on my feet somehow! We drank beers and Rowan dropped us off at the harbour in his “surfboat” a little speedboat dinghy type thing that skimmed across the water, cancelling out the effects of the numerous beers as we passed under Sydney Harbour Bridge.

We went out for a pub quiz but it wasn’t the best of pub quizzes but I had a nice time and met an absolute loon called Scott. Wandering the streets trying to find Becs’ new house I decided it would be a good idea to use all my credit by phoning Natalia in Moscow as opposed to ringing Becs to ask where she lived. Genius! She found me in her pyjamas, though why I was wearing them I don’t know.

Becs went on holiday and I became homeless! I stayed a night in Rob’s hostel and then spent the days in Gloria Jeans coffee shops stealing their electricity and wireless.