RUNNING ON EMPTY

So here I am, sat at the airport staring at my own face on a REWARD poster: Wanted in six countries for stealing electricity and wifi. The reward seemingly builds by ten dollars since the last country. I feel like the Osama Bin Laden of wireless blagging. Especially in this fake beard. But at least I’ve caught up with myself and am writing about the events of the last day and this morning, not last month as I have been of late, distracted by you know who.

Still running on empty, waiting for my Jetstar flight which has been delayed by two, scratch that now four hours. At least airport electricity is free. Shouldn’t electricity be free anyway; who owns electricity? Thomas Edison or Michael Faraday or something? You can’t own electricity, that’s like paying for water, a concept that would trigger the collapse of all civilization. Tobacco and cocoa were free to the Mayans and Aztecs. It grew everywhere... Cocaine too. That should be free. Beer should be free. Chickens should be free. Never mind buy one get one free, what about “See one, get one free” or “Free Subway of the day” or “do a really loud impression of a goat in a library and eat all day for free”

I should definitely be King or at least Prime Minister of some country or other.

I’d be a mighty king.

Maybe Koh Samui.

Home.